Monday, December 24, 2012

Administrative Review of Clark W. Griswold

Warner Bros
Administrator Summative Evaluation 1989
Clark W. Griswold Jr.

This concludes a successful year from Mr. Griswold as leader of the Griswold family.  After a very rocky start to your leadership career that included a trip to an amusement park that was not open and a vacation to Europe that ended in your family being part of international espionage, I was hoping the evaluation would trend in an upward direction as you remained closer to home.  The evaluation process takes into account activities surrounding an 8 day vacation including informal meetings with CEOs, sledding, hanging of Christmas lights, teambuilding, rodent extermination, and relations with local law enforcement. The summative evaluation is divided into Achievement, Goal Attainment, and Future Development. 

Achievement is detailed in data.  During the 8 day stay at the house located next to Sergeant Roger Murtaugh of Lethal Weapon fame, the following data was evident:
13-10 visitors and 3 family members.  Though Snots the dog was not in the house for the entire visit, he did add stress to the family situation and that is noted in the data.  The acquisition of available spaces to house those individuals was an outstanding use of resource.  I commend the risk taking of bringing that many people in to the house for holiday festivities.

62 seconds-The amount of time it took you to get down the hill, and subsequently across town, with a sled using a new silicon based kitchen lubricant that created a surface 500 times more slippery than the average spray.  Your zest for life and the danger it can incur leads me to believe that you will do anything to impress others…including trying to set a new land speed record.

2-Most families only have to deal with the burden of one Christmas tree that dries out.  Due to the inadvertent fire created by Uncle Louis, you were forced to think on your feet and develop a plan to acquire another tree.  Though I believe that taking a chainsaw to your neighbor’s yard is illegal, I appreciate the gumption you showed to ensure that your family had a tree for the holiday season.

25,000- Two hundred and fifty strands of lights each containing 100 individual bulbs per strand for a grand total of 25,000 imported Italian twinkle lights…and you checked every one.  Well done, Clark…though the city had to use an auxiliary generator to balance the power loss, the house looked fantastic.

Goal Attainment
As we began our discussions regarding your intentions for the coming year, you made it apparent to me that the acquisition of a swimming pool for the family was your ultimate goal.  I cautioned you that though the company was doing well, counting on a Christmas bonus from CEO Frank Shirley was not the proverbial slam dunk.  We all knew that Mr. Shirley’s history did not lend itself to a giving nature dating back to his running the Caddyshack at Bushwood Country Club in 1980.  Your SMART goal read as follows… “Through completion of the Non Nutritive cereal varnish project I will allocate enough funding to install an outdoor swimming pool in a city that only has 2 months of hot weather”.  

The action plan was as follows:

Creation of Crunch Enhancer-a semi permeable, non-osmotic substance that coats and seals the flake, preventing the milk from penetrating it

Present findings to Frank Shirley to enhance probability of Christmas Bonus

Leverage all family funds to ensure ground breaking of swimming pool could happen as soon as the ground thaws.

Though the creation of the crunch enhancer was solid and the information led to windfalls of financial gain to the company, the bonus of a year-long jelly of the month subscription did not help your financial situation. 

Summative and Future Development
As a leader you need to curb the enthusiasm of the project to meet the financial and emotional needs of your clients…in this case, your family.  Setting your family up for financial success is essential in a leadership role.  I think we both know that your son Rusty won’t go on to be a big TV star in a show that follows the hilarious antics of physicists in California and your daughter Audrey certainly won’t be an Oscar nominated actress in an Oscar nominated movie.  Leadership in helping them to be successful in the future should be at the forefront of your growth moving forward.  I commend your ability to handle crisis throughout the evaluation process.  In a short amount of time you were able to keep everyone dancing and singing Christmas carols (or the star spangled banner) through the loss of pets, rodent intruders, uninvited guests, your current financial situation, and a kidnapping.  Please take the suggestions from this evaluation and use them to develop and implement a goal that improves your ability to lead in an ever changing time. 
Thank you for a solid year, Clark.  I look forward to what the future will hold for you…maybe a trip to Vegas!